Worse Than Kryptonite
by loislane0359
Summary: Lois Lane is the woman who gives Clark Kent the strength to be the Man of Steel. What would happen if he lost her? How would it change him? Could he go on? Would he attempt to change the course of history to ensure her safety?
1. Preventing the Future

Lois had walked away a few seconds ago, and for the first time...ever, I sort of wished she hadn't gone. For the briefest moment, I wished I hadn't asked Lex to pull those strings at Met U. I turned around to see if she was still walking away, but she was no where to be seen. I shook my head in disbelief, I was actually going to miss her. It was ridiculous, but it was true. Still shaking my head I slung my football bag over my shoulder and was about to run home, when I heard someone shout my name.

"Clark!"

It was a deep familiar voice, but I didn't immediately recognize it. When I turned around, I was looking at, well, me. I was older, wearing glasses for some reason, and I looked terrible. I was disheveled, my hair was a mess, and I had a five o'clock shadow growing on my chin, but it was definitely me. My jaw dropped.

"Y-You're-" I stammered.

"Yes, I'm you," he said simply.

"What're you-how're you-" I began but he cut me off.

"Look, I can't stay long, so I'll explain quickly. I came here from the future to warn you."

"O-Ok, what about?" I asked, still in a bit of shock.

"You can't get close to Lois Lane. I need you to stay away from her at all costs. If you have to be around her, you need to stick to a very strict conversation policy. No more playful banter, no more teasing, no flirting, and no more comforting. Only be polite and to the point, nothing more. Do you understand?"

"Flirt with _Lois_? Me? Am I insane in the future?"

"Look pal, I know what you were just thinking! Why do you think I chose to come back to this moment, you were just shaking your head because you realized that you were going to miss her."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"I'm you, remember? I stood right where you are thinking that once too."

"Right. But, why should I stay away from Lois, she's annoying, sure, but she's pretty harmless," I wondered to him.

"No, she's not harmless, she's worse than kryptonite," he said, not looking me in the eye.

"How can she be worse than kryptonite?"

"She becomes the love of your life. The one person you trust everything with, and who means everything to you."

"Lois?" I snorted in disbelief.

"Lois," he almost whispered it, like it was painful for him to just say her name.

"Well, I think you're crazy, but if she's the love of my life, why would you want me to stay away from her? And that still doesn't explain how she's worse than kryptonite?"

"One day you will lose her, and it will break you."

"What? Does she leave me or something, because I think I can handl-"

"No, it's not like that. It's terrible. Look, you'll lose a lot of people. People you don't think you can imagine life without, it'll be awful at first, but you'll get through it. With everyone else, you'll be able to move on, you'll come out on the other side stronger. But, losing Lois, you'll never recover from that," his voice cracked, "Never."

"You'll lose control, and do things you never thought yourself capable of. Doing what's right won't matter anymore, nothing will! You won't be the man the world needs, you'll put Earth's fate at risk. I used to think I couldn't live in a world where Lois didn't love me. I was wrong, I can live without her love, what I can't do is survive in a world she doesn't even exist in." His voice was trembling.

"I'm sorry, it sounds like she meant a lot to you."

"More than you'll ever know... at least I hope so. If you stay away from her, you can prevent her death. You have to promise me you'll do what I tell you."

"Alright, I promise."

"It's not going to be easy."

"I think I can manage it."

"No! Listen to me, right now you think she's bossy, irritating, and she gets under your skin all the time. The way you're looking at me, I know you think I'm crazy, and you're blinded to it because you're busy pining after Lana. But when you think about it, even now, for some bizarre reason, deep down, you think of Lois as one of your closest friends. Like sometimes she doesn't know you at all, but other times she knows you better than anyone. Those feelings will only grow stronger with time, trust me I know. You have to take this seriously, you can't let her get close to you, no matter how much you may want to! Her life depends on it."

I stared at him for a moment. His voice was grave, I was frightened by it. I'd never heard myself sound so...desperate. I nodded earnestly, I really didn't want anything to happen to Lois, he was right, I did think of her as one of my closest friends. I wasn't sure it was possible for me to fall in love with her, but I certainly didn't want her to die.

"I swear, my friendship with Lois Lane ends here," I told him firmly.

He studied me for a moment, making sure I was sincere.

"Thank you. Since Lois won't be around, there are some things I need you to know. First, you need to have a JLA member waiting on the corner of 12 street and Main on the night you use the Book of Rao," he told me.

"The Book of Rao?"

"It'll make sense when the time comes. Also, trust Chloe, if something is happening, something you aren't one hundred percent sure you can handle, leave her clues you know she'll be able to follow."

I nodded, "Alright."

He sighed in relief, before he took out a golden ring that had an L etched onto it's face.

"I have to go now, but please remember what I've told you."

"I will."

He slipped the ring on his finger and in a flash of white light he was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again, I was standing in the middle of the Smallville high football field. Only I was back in the present, immediately I sped off to the farm, slipping the Legion ring in my pocket as I went. If my plan had worked, there would be no trace of Lois there. She would have never lived at the farm, her clothes would never have hung next to mine in our closet. Her White Snake pillow wouldn't be sitting on the couch, Old Blue wouldn't be resting in the kitchen window, and the smell of her perfume wouldn't be on the pillow next to mine. All of the little things that were constant reminders of her, reminders that tortured me, would be gone.

Within seconds, I tore into the house. I called for Shelby, but he wasn't there. Old Blue was gone too, and so was the White Snake pillow. That meant somewhere in the world Lois, my Lois, was alive! I ran outside and took to the sky. I flew as fast as I could to Watchtower. I was relieved to find that Chloe wasn't there. I went to the computer and furiously typed in Lois's name. A second later her address popped up on the screen, my eyes devoured it.

"Gotham?"

I reread it. Lois Lane, 2568 East Wayne Avenue Apt S508, Gotham City. Why would Lois be living in Gotham? I was confused, but then again I was in an entirely new reality. A reality where everything I knew about Lois could be different, a reality where I might not know her at all. I now knew that she was alive again, and that should have been enough for me. But it wasn't, I needed to see her, I needed to hear her heart beating one more time, then I could let go. I would have to.

One short flight to Bruce's home turf later, I was hovering just outside her apartment. Lois was fast asleep in her bed, I used my X-ray vision to look through the brick wall separating me from her bedroom. Seeing her unmistakeable sleeping form lying sprawled out on her bed, was the most beautiful sight I had ever beheld. I heard the soft, familiar sounds of her snores, and each distinct beat of her heart. The moment that broke me, the moment in which I had held her lifeless, silent, and deformed body in my arms no longer existed in this world. Here, Lois Lane was alive, and that was all that mattered.

A weight on my chest, that had kept it tight, cold, and empty was lifted. Tears of the purest joy I'd ever known watered in my eyes. For the first time in months, I felt the friendly embrace of hope in my heart. From the way Lois was snoring, I knew that not even a monster truck rally in her living room could wake her. So, quietly I snuck in through her bedroom window. I went to her bedside, the smell of her perfume filled my nose and I savored it. A long strand of her beautiful dark hair was draped across her face, I reached out and tucked it back behind her ear. I gently caressed her face, her skin was warm with life, and I closed my eyes in relief.

It was at that moment I realized that this could be the last time I'd ever be this close to her. I wanted to wake her, just so I could see her eyes looking back at me, but things were different now. If I wanted to protect her, if I wanted to protect myself, I couldn't have her. I would have to stay away from Lois, I wouldn't risk her life again. I bent down and slowly kissed her forehead. I brushed my hand across her face one last time, and whispered into her ear:

"Goodbye Lois."

As hard as it was, I somehow willed myself to turn my back on Lois and walk toward the window.

"Wait!"

Suddenly I felt her hand close around my wrist. I closed my eyes and sighed at the feeling of her touch, but I didn't turn around.

"What are you doing here?" She asked groggily.

It was wonderful to hear the sound of her voice, I wanted to turn around and kiss her into oblivion, however, I held my resolve.

"I just came to see that you were safe Miss Lane," I answered in the most detached voice I could muster.

"You flew all the way from Metropolis in the middle of the night, broke into my apartment, and came into my bedroom just to see that I was safe?"

I should have known that she'd see right through me, we used to joke that her superpower was that she had Clark-vision.

"Yes, Miss Lane, and now I have to go."

"Woah there Blue-boy, you're not getting away so easily this time. You look like hell! What happened? Will you at least turn around and look at me? I think with the breaking and entering considered, I at least deserve some eye contact!"

It was going to be a lot harder to do this than I thought.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go," I said quietly, taking a step toward the window.

"No, you don't get to do that! You don't get to whoosh away!" suddenly Lois was in front of me, with one hand on my chest. Her eyes burning into mine.

"If you were really just checking up on me, you didn't have to come in here. You have X-ray vision, you could have seen that I was safe from outside these walls. I want a better explanation than your ever present regard for my safety," she demanded.

"I can't give you one."

"Don't do that! Talk to me, please! You are always there to rescue me when I get myself into sticky situations, I don't know how you do it. But you're always there. As far as I can gather, I'm the only person you do that for. Every time, when I thank you, or ask how you got there so fast, or why you even bother, you always tell me the same thing, 'Just making sure you're safe Miss Lane'. That's the only god damned thing you'll ever say to me! I don't know whether I want to kiss you or kill you every time you say it!" she shouted.

"I...I don't know why, but ever since the first time the Blur saved me, I've had this feeling whenever I'm near you, or whenever I think about you. This feeling, it's bigger than any-anything... I've ever felt. I left Metropolis because it was too hard for me to know that I was pathetic girl who was dumb enough to fall for Superman. Surely the Man of Steel couldn't be in love with some silly reporter from the Daily Planet. But now here you are, in my apartment miles away from Metropolis, in the middle of the night. So maybe I'm not crazy, and maybe I'm not the only one with feelings. What's the real reason you're here Supes?" her voice was trembling.

I desperately wanted to tell her the truth pull her into my arms and tell her that I loved her, but that wasn't an option. So I came up with an excuse.

"The JLA thinks that someone is watching you, I was checking your apartment for bugs."

She let out a sad laugh.

"Of course... I should have known...you're all business," She said putting her face in her hands.

I knew how hard it was for her to say all of those things, Lois rarely put her heart on the line, because almost every time she had done it before someone had broken it. I had been the one to make her heart whole again. But, that was gone now, and looking at her I realized that I may have just delivered a shattering blow, crushing her heart worse than any one of the bastards before me. I'd just sacrificed everything to give her life back. I couldn't let her live it with a broken heart, not without at least an explanation. I reached out and put my hand on her arm. She looked up at me in surprise.

"Lois," I said, choosing my words very carefully, "I can't give myself the luxury of feeling for someone what you feel for me. If I did, that person would become my greatest weakness. I could never put someone in that position, and risk what the dangers of losing that person might do to me. Believe me when I say it's not that I don't want to feel it, it's simply that I can't allow myself to. I hope that helps you understand."

"That sounds like a pretty lonely way to live," she said looking me in the eyes.

"It's-it's not always ideal, but if I want to be the hero that the world needs, if I want to protect the people I care for, I have to make sacrifices so I don't get distracted from my purpose, Lois."

"Right, well I guess that makes sense."

"I'm sorry." I told her.

"It's okay, I think I understand. And at least you called me Lois this time," she replied with a sad smile.

It wasn't the answer she'd been looking for, I could see that in her eyes, but my words seemed to make her feel at least a little better. It was time for me to leave, so I pried my hand from her arm.

"Superman?" she said.

"Yes, Miss Lane."

"If you ever change your mind about the whole 'not-being able to feel' thing..."

"I won't." I said firmly.

"I know, but, hypothetically, if you ever did..."

"Hypothetically, I'm sure you'd be the first to know. Goodnight Miss Lane."

I flew out of the window, before she could ask me anything else. The night air whipped around me. I had left Lois hurt and alone, something that as her husband, I'd made a rule never to do. But I wasn't her husband anymore, I wasn't 'Smallville', I wasn't 'Clarkie' or 'farm boy', I wasn't even just plain 'Clark'. To Lois Lane I was just Superman. The man she loved, but could never have. The man who loved her, but could never tell her. This reality was going to challenge me, but it was better than a reality without Lois. Whether she knew it or not my heart would always belong to her. I loved her, I loved her enough to stay away


	2. The New Present

**A/N **So, this chapter is kind of more of the same, but I promise that next chapter will delve more into how Lois and Clark are getting along in their new lives without one another. I hope you enjoy it, I'm really enjoying writing it. Give me some feedback on how I'm doing and review!

A little while later I found myself back at Watchtower. I didn't feel like returning to the farm. Although Lois hadn't actually spent much time there in this world, my memories of our time there together weren't gone. It was bittersweet. I was over the moon with joy just knowing that Lois was alive, and yet not having her by my side, not being able to go home to her, still left me with a throbbing ache in my chest.

I gazed out of the window that overlooked all of Metropolis, it looked brighter than it had the last time I'd stood here. The day of Lois's funeral. I shook my head, I knew I shouldn't think about that. I'd have to deal with those memories, and what I'd done at some point, but not tonight. I hadn't slept in days, so I changed out of my suit, laid down on one of the couches, closed my eyes, and let the my fatigue overtake me.

"Clark! Clark wake up!" I felt someone gently shaking my arm. I opened my eyes and saw Chloe sitting next to me. Slowly, I sat up.

"Clark what are you doing here, I went by the farm to check on you this morning, but you weren't there. Why were you sleeping at Watchtower?" She asked.

"It's kind of a long story," I replied.

"Care to share any details?" She said with raised eyebrows.

I slid my hand through my hair.

"I don't even know where to start."

"The beginning is generally a good place," said Chloe.

It took me a few moments to organize my thoughts before I spoke.

"I used this," I said. I pulled out the Legion ring out of my pocket, and held it out to her. Chloe gaped at me.

"The Legion ring? I thought you were against messing with the space time continuum?"

"I was. I am, but something happened. Something terrible...and I couldn't help myself. I had to go back," I said.

"What happened, Clark?" she asked, with obvious concern in her voice.

I looked away from her. I didn't want to tell her. I didn't want all the awful memories of the last few weeks to seep into this world. But I needed to know what my life was, I couldn't imagine it without Lois, but I'd have to learn. To do that, I needed Chloe's help.

"I can't really give you all the details," I choked out, "but the short version is that I am from a different future and I'm gonna need some help figuring out what my life is like now."

"Okay, well what was so different about your future?" Chloe asked.

"It was pretty similar to this, but there was one big difference."

"Which was?" she said, clearly frustrated because I wouldn't give her more information.

"In this other future I was married, now I'm not," I stated.

"Clark Kent? Married? To who?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Let's just say it was probably the last person you'd expect me to end up with," I replied.

"I'm sure it's more obvious than you think Clark, when it comes to romantic interests, you're about as subtle as your bright red cape. It was Lana wasn't it?"

I shook my head and smiled.

"Nope, not Lana."

"Really? Diana then?"

I looked at her in confusion.

"As in Wonder Woman?"

"Yeah, you two have had the whole super-sexual tension thing going on for ages," she said as if this should be common knowledge. I was used to sexual tension surrounding Diana, but Bruce was the one on the receiving end, not me.

"Well, that's new. But no, it wasn't Diana," I said, letting this new information sink in.

"Hmmm. It really is the last person I'd expect, isn't it?"

"She was the last person I thought I'd end up with too. But that was part of what made her perfect for me, she kept me on my toes," I told her, wistfully remembering all the unexpected things about Lois that made me fall so hard for her. Chloe studied me.

"It sounds like this mystery woman really made you happy, you loved her a lot didn't you?" Chloe asked.

"More than I ever dreamed was possible."

"Then why change it? Clark, you're my best friend and I love you, but here in this future, happy isn't one of the words I'd use to describe you. I worry about you, you always seem so...lonely. Why would you rob yourself of that, why use the ring to rid yourself of something that was obviously so important to you?"

A few moments of silence hung in the conversation, as I tried to get the words out.

"Because Lex killed her," I sighed deeply, "right in front of me, there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was my fault. Chloe, losing her, it changed me. Not for the better, I did things...awful things..."

A lump in my throat formed and I felt my chest tightening as the memories flooded me. Lois's limp body cradled in my arms, the uncontainable rage, the blood on my hands...I closed my eyes, put my face in my hands, and started breathing heavily. Chloe placed a comforting hand on my back. I looked over and saw deep concern in her eyes.

"Hey, Clark it's okay. You did what you had to do, but it's over now. Let's just try and get you back on track okay?"

I took a deep breath to calm myself, and nodded.

"So, uh, do I still work at the Planet?" I asked after a moment.

"Um, yeah, you just started as a full-time reporter there. You started out writing freelance, then you took a position as a foreign correspondent. It was easy for you, since you could zip all around the globe in the blink of an eye, but a few weeks ago you decided that it might be better for to spend more time in your base of operations here in Metropolis," Chloe explained.

It appeared that my past self had really taken what I'd told him to heart. Being a foreign correspondent was an excellent excuse to keep away, and my new full-time position at the Daily Planet seemed to coincide with Lois's departure. It even appeared that I still lived in Smallville, which would prevent any accidental encounters with her on the streets of Metropolis.

Chloe's phone rang, she pulled it out of her purse and looked at the caller ID.

"It's my cousin, I'll call her back later," she said as she went to put the phone away. But, yearning to hear Lois's voice, I stopped her.

"No, go ahead, answer it," I said as nonchalantly as I could.

"You sure?"

I nodded.

She stood up and slid her finger across the screen as she walked out of the room.

"Hey Lo, what's up?" said Chloe. I tuned my ears into their conversation.

"Chloe, you're not going to believe what happened last night," Lois said quickly. I smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Okay, fill me in."

"So you remember why I left Metropolis?"

"How could I forget your one-sided affections for a certain heroic man in vibrant blue tights."

"Right, well, he came here," Lois told Chloe.

"Superman was in Gotham last night?"

"Not just in Gotham, cuz, in my apartment!"

"What!" Chloe said in shock. "Well, what did he say? Are you sure it was actually him?"

"Chloe, the man has saved my life 42 times, 56 if you count the times he did it as the Blur. I'd recognize those pecks and big blue eyes anywhere, plus he was wearing the cape."

"What was he doing there?" asked Chloe quickly, I could tell she was developing a whole slew of questions to interrogate me with as soon as she was off the phone.

"I was confused about that too. So naturally my hope got the better of me, and in classic Lois-form, I boorishly spilled my guts to him, all before he could tell me that he was just there on strict JLA business," Lois explained.

"Oh boy, and what was his reaction to your proclamations?"

"Well, he shot me down of course, but it wasn't as awful as I'd thought it would be. It was a bit sad, to be honest, and not just for me."

"What do you mean?"

"He told me it wasn't that he didn't want to feel anything for me, it was just that he couldn't."

"Meaning?"

"He said if he got too close to someone, it could become a weakness for him, and that was something, as Superman, he couldn't afford."

"Wow."

"I know, he's so damn noble. But I think he's really lonely, Chloe."

"It sounds like it, but at least he's got his super friends to keep him company, right?" Chloe said, trying to reassure Lois.

"Yeah, but from the impression I got, he wouldn't even risk a relationship with the Amazonian Wonder Wench," said Lois, her nickname for Diana made me chuckle, "It's like he's decided he has to live a life without love."

"Well, maybe that's the curse of being a super hero. They don't get to lead normal lives," said Chloe.

"I guess so. But, I just wish he could be a part of the humanity he fights so hard to protect. Our ability to love is one of the greatest things human beings have to offer," Lois said sadly.

"Lois, he may know love better than you think. Love makes you do stupid things, and the stupid things he could get up to are on a super scale."

"I know, he's probably smart to live like that. I should let it go, but I just wish he didn't have to be alone."

"He's a big boy, I'm sure that he can take care of himself. But you're right, you do need to let it go. I have feeling he won't visit you again, and you can't keep torturing yourself with this Lois. You moved to Gotham to start new, and focus on cracking open the biggest corruption stories this country has to offer."

"I know, and I am. I called because I wanted you to know that I feel better about the whole Superman thing than I have in years. Getting an explanation from him really helped. It doesn't close the hole entirely, but I think I'm finally on the mend."

I couldn't help but grin, following my instincts last night had helped Lois. When I decided to change history, I hadn't anticipated that she would still be so deeply attached to Superman. I thought that if she didn't know Clark Kent, she wouldn't know the feelings we'd shared. I suppose I had underestimated the depth of our compatibility on multiple levels. I didn't want to hurt her anymore, and was glad to hear that she might start to move on with her life, sans Superman.

"That's great, Lois."

"Thanks for listening, cuz. But I gotta go now, I'm chasing a juicy lead about Gotham's former DA. I'll call ya later."

"Okay, good luck, and be careful," Chloe warned.

"You know me, I'm always careful," Lois quipped back playfully, "and who knows, if I play my cards right I might get to meet the Bat-guy! Ooh, or maybe that Nightwing dude, his spandex suits him almost as well as Superman's does."

A twinge of jealousy jabbed at me inside my chest, and my nose involuntarily crinkled.

"You've seriously got to work on your hero fetish," Chloe laughed.

"I'm just kidding Chlo, but I really have to go now. Love ya!"

"Love you too, bye!"

The phone call ended, and I heard Chloe coming my way. When she came around the corner, she was fuming.

"Clark Kent you have some serious explaining to do, Mister!" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"You promised after Lois started to fall for you after those interviews you gave her-"

"I still let Lois interview me?" I interrupted.

"Yeah, after she wrote all of those pro-hero stories, you said that she was the only journalist you would trust to write your's," said Chloe, "But then she got attached, so you stopped, and you started giving your interviews directly to Perry. Even if you didn't remember that, why would you go see Lois? I'm in JLA and I know that Lois isn't on our radar right now..."

Her voice trailed off, as she put two and two together. I shifted uncomfortably.

"She was the one, wasn't she? She was your wife," she asked softly.

"Yes, she was," I answered. Chloe clapped her hand to her forehead, and plopped down next to me.

"You're right, she's the last person I'd expect you to marry. I mean, back when she visited Smallville in high school, you hated each other. You've avoided her like she was kryptonite ever since then. Well, except when you were saving her...wait, actually, maybe it does make sense."

"It does?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I always thought it was a bit weird the way you always kept an eye out for her, given your vehement distaste for her personality. When I asked you about it, you told me you did it because the world needed people with Lois's journalistic integrity as much as they needed heroes. Now, I'm thinking it might have been more than that," Chloe concluded.

"Probably," I admitted.

We sat there for a long while, both of us just trying to process all the new facts. I had warned my past self not to let Lois get close, and it seemed he'd been unable to manage it. He'd taken endless precautions to keep clear of her, but somehow she'd still managed to work her way into his heart, and he into hers. I found myself wondering if I would have been drawn to Earth even if Krypton had never been destroyed, all because Lois was here. All things considered it seemed highly probable.

Earth needed me and I wanted to use my abilities for a greater purpose, but I often found myself wishing that I could just be...human. I could live my life the way I wanted then. I could have a normal life with Lois, have children, raise them together, and grow old. Lois could always tell when I was feeling isolated from humanity, she knew how to bring me back. She'd remind me of what the world could have been if I hadn't stopped Zod, or Darksied, or she'd tell me I needed a few hours off so that she could show me just _how much I was loved_... I sighed heavily, this sucked.

"Clark," Chloe began, "maybe you shouldn't shut Lois out."

"Chloe-"

"Hear me out, you went back in time to stop yourself from falling in love with her, to keep her safe, and yet here in the future you two are still head over heels for each other."

"I won't risk her life again, and if I go back to her, one way or another she'll be in danger because of who I am," I said.

"But-"

"No! Chloe when she died, the Clark you know, the Superman you know died right with her! I left Earth, and flew aimlessly through space for two weeks. For the first time I didn't feel like Earth was my home, protecting it seemed futile. Then the rage set in, I came back and found Lex. I destroyed three city blocks, pummeling him into the ground. I kill...killed him, with my bare hands. His body was unrecognizable and it didn't silence my anger at all! I was riddled with remorse, fury, self hatred, and bottomless grief. I locked myself up at the farm, and you came to see me. I told you that I was going to turn myself in to the government, and tell them how to execute me, so I wouldn't be a danger to society any longer. But, then you handed me the Legion ring, and told me to make my own choice, but that the world needed Superman."

"So, I can't be with Lois, not only because it puts her at risk, but also because in a world where Lois isn't alive and well, I become a murderer, a threat to Earth, anything but hero."


	3. A Lonely Day at The Planet

**A/N **Sorry for the long gap between updates, I was finishing up school, then moving, and also just enjoying some preliminary summer celebrations. I wish I could tell you that the waiting period for updates will be shorter, but I'd be lying to you. Just know that I have no plans of abandoning this story it may just be a while between chapters. Also the Jimmy in this story is the younger Jimmy Olsen, not Chloe's Jimmy. I'll let you read now. Please enjoy and review! :)

The following day I was supposed to start my new job at the Daily Planet. I had stayed at Watchtower again, Chloe had told me I could stay as long as I wanted. I decided that I'd go looking for an apartment the following weekend, even though it was convenient to combine my abilities with the surveillance equipment at Watchtower, I knew I needed to find my own place. Returning to the farm just didn't seem like it was an option. Lois was starting over in Gotham, and I needed to start over in Metropolis.

I woke up early, and took a long shower. I got dressed and headed for the door, I opened it, before remembering that, as usual, I'd forgotten to put on my glasses. I turned around, half-expecting Lois to be standing there with them, shaking her head, before she slipped them on my nose.

_"I swear, Smallville, if your head wasn't attached you'd forget that too. It's a good thing you've got me around to keep you in check."_

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I'd have to keep myself in check now, and it really didn't sound like much fun. My glasses were across the room, resting on a coffee table. I walked over, and picked them up. I put them on and thought that they'd never felt so cold resting on my face before. I sighed heavily.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, and the sky was clear as I walked to the Daily Planet. The good weather seemed to mock how I was feeling inside. 'Lois is alive, that's all that matters,' I silently reminded myself. I really needed to get a handle on living without her by my side, I knew it would take some time, my wounds were still so fresh. I rounded the corner on 7th street and spotted our bakery.

I did feel like a cup of coffee, so I went inside. Jerry, the friendly grey-haired owner, was standing behind the register. I caught myself before greeting him by his first name, as I had only just started living in Metropolis, I was pretty sure I wasn't on a first name basis with him yet.

"Morning," I said.

"Good morning! What can I do for you son?" Jerry said cheerfully.

"Two," I said holding up two fingers out of habit, "uh sorry, one large black coffee, please."

He nodded and went to retrieve my coffee. As I waited I looked into the pastry case and spotted a full tray of maple doughnuts. They were Lois's favorite, she got at least one everyday. If I ever made her angry or upset, a dozen of them were always a great peace offering.

"You want one of them maple doughnuts too, sir?" Jerry asked when he returned with my coffee.

"I'm not sure," I replied, trying to decide whether or not I actually wanted one, or whether I'd be buying one out of pure nostalgia.

"You're lucky I've still got some. Used to have this reporter lady who'd come in and clean me out every morning, said she was hypoglaciermic-"

"You mean hypoglycemic?"

"Yeah that. She was sort of bossy, but she always tipped well so I never complained. Think she moved to Gotham though, why anyone would want to leave Metropolis for Gotham is beyond me. They've got all those Bat-people lurking in the shadows, and all those lunatics escaping from Arkham. At least Superman shows his face in the daylight. Anyway, you want one, Mr.?" said Jerry.

"Kent, my name's Clark Kent, and yes I do think I'll take one for the road."

"Well good to meet you, Mr. Kent, the name's Jerry. Here you go, that'll be $4.50."

"Pleasure to meet you too Jerry," I said politely as I handed him my money, and dropped a couple of dollars in the tip jar.

"Well, don't be a stranger now, and have a nice day Mr. Kent," Jerry said kindly.

"Thank you, you have a good one too Jerry," I said as I went out the door.

Ten minutes later, I was standing in the lobby of the Daily Planet. I had just pressed the 'up' button with my thumb, and was patiently awaiting the arrival of the elevator. As I munched on my maple doughnut, a small crowd gathered around me. They were all other reporters, also waiting to be carried to the upper floors of the Planet.

"Can you believe that Lane actually got an exclusive with Two-Face, and lived to send the story to the presses?" I heard the man next to me say.

Great! Less than two weeks in Gotham and Lois was already having one on one chats with its most criminally insane residents! I needed to give Bruce a heads up, tell him to keep an eye out for her.

"Come on Bill, it's not really all that surprising. I mean the woman nabbed the first interview with Superman! That alone is enough for a Pulitzer, but add in all of the incriminating quotes she's managed to squeeze out of Luthor, she's untouchable! Lois Lane is the Goddess of Investigative Journalism, if anyone could get both of Harvey Dent's faces to talk it's her," his friend observed.

"Yeah, you're right. But, you know, I'm sorta glad she went to the Gazette. She really makes the rest of us look like amateur reporters, like we don't know how to break a story. I also don't miss the way she used to order everybody around the office," the man next to me replied.

"With a body like her's," said his friend, "she could order me around for the rest of my life! My desk was right behind her's, and man, oh man, do I miss the view!"

I stifled the pang of jealousy in the pit of my stomach, and reminded myself that the view of Lois's behind didn't belong to me in this world. A loud ding sounded the arrival of the elevator. I stepped inside and pressed the button for the eighth floor, then settled into the back before the rest of the crowd packed themselves inside.

As we started to move, I looked to my left and saw a mousy blonde woman standing next to me, I sighed heavily. Lois and I always held hands on the elevator ride up to, and down from our office. It was one of the few times during the workday when we could share physical contact with each other. Sometimes, when I would step on the elevator, Lois liked to goose me from behind, I would jump in surprise and accidentally bump into the people around me, much to their annoyance. When I'd turn to look accusingly at Lois, she'd innocently shrug her shoulders with a mischievous smirk on her lips and say, _"Jeeze, Smallville, got ants in your pants?"_ We'd also spent many heated moments inside the little room on those blissful occasions when the doors would open and we'd find ourselves alone in it. Elevator rides were one of my favorite things about working with my wife, and as I stood there now, completely alone in a crowd of people, I came to the conclusion that I'd probably start taking the stairs.

The doors parted when we arrived on the eighth floor, and I fought my way out of the crowded box. The office was, as usual, buzzing with life. I made my way across the room to Perry's office and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, I opened it slowly and peeked my head inside.

Perry was sitting behind his desk on the phone, he spotted me and waved me in. I squeezed through the door as clumsily and awkwardly as possible, and then plopped loudly down into one of the chairs opposite his desk.

"Yes, Bob, I did read it...I know she's a good reporter, but Lane's a handful you-...Well, just wait until you get the first lawsuit, you won't be gloating then!...For your information, I have other Pulitzer worthy reporters! I'm looking at one right now!...Well she may be selling papers for you, but don't come crying to me when you can't control her!" Perry hung up the phone with more force than was necessary.

"Kent, weren't you supposed to be here yesterday?" he barked at me.

"Gee, I don't think so Mr. White, uh-your e-mail said to report to you on the twenty-first, that's today sir," I said, pushing my glasses further up on the bridge of my nose.

"Right, well, I guess it doesn't matter. Look, I just lost my best reporter to the damned Gotham Gazette, and if you haven't noticed it hasn't put me in a very cheerful mood! I'm counting on you to fill the void, Kent. You don't have Lane's gusto, but you're a word smith, and you know how to chase a good lead. I want you to start with this," he said pushing a file across the desk to me.

I opened it up and read the title, **PROJECT UBERMENCH**. I scanned the first few pages, and my jaw dropped in shock. It appeared that LexCorp was attempting to combine a human test subject with bionics that would give them my abilities. Lex was trying to create a bionic Superman. A bionic me, and he had samples of my blood that he was using to ensure the accuracy of recreating my abilities. This day just kept getting better and better.

"W-what is this? Where-where did you get this?" I stammered.

"A source that wished to remain anonymous slipped it under my door the other day. I want you to get to the bottom of it, Kent. I should have given this to a more senior reporter, but I trust you to get the truth, the facts. You don't have a slant Kent, and I like that about you. Just don't make me regret giving it to you."

"I'll do my best, Mr. White," I told him.

"Good, now let's get you in your new office shall we? Olsen!" Perry shouted into the intercom on his desk, "Olsen get in here!"

A moment later the door swung open and Jimmy burst through, bow-tie and all. I smiled, it was nice to see a friendly, familiar face.

"Yeah, Chief?"

"I want you to take Kent to his new office, and maybe give him a tour so he can get his bearings. And as soon as you're done with that I want you to head down to the museum to cover the opening of that new exhibit."

"Yes Chief, I'm on it, sir!"

"And stop calling me Chief," Perry said.

"Sure thing, uh-Mr. White. Good to see you again Mr. Kent!" Jimmy said happily as he held out his hand for me to shake.

"Good to see you too, Jimmy, and call me Clark," I said standing up and following him out of Perry's office.

"Perry's been in a foul mood since Lois left, and I'll admit that I sorta miss her too. But he's been excited, well as excited as the Chief gets, for you to get here," Jimmy explained as he turned down a very familiar hallway. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, fate was not cutting me any slack today. We were headed to the office Lois and I had shared for seven years...

"Well, I'm excited to be here, it'll be nice to stay in one place for a while," I said.

"But I bet it was some adventure traveling all over the world, chasing all those amazing stories!" Jimmy said enthusiastically.

"It was definitely an adventure," I replied.

"Well here we are, your new office," he said stopping in front of the door, and handing me the keys. Sure enough, my premonition had been correct. There was a man from maintenance still scraping Lois's name off the door. Not only was it the same office we had shared in my world, but apparently it had been Lois's office at the Planet in this world too. I sighed heavily, again.

"Do you want to put your stuff down and then I can give you a tour of the office?" asked Jimmy.

"You know, I think I can find my way around, but thanks anyway Jimmy," I told him.

"No problem Mr.-uh I mean Clark," he answered, "If you need anything at all just let me know!"

"Will do," I said shaking his hand.

I watched him go back down the hall for a moment before I turned around and went into my office. I sat down behind the desk and sighed again. It felt very empty, and too clean. I looked at the walls, they were normally covered with various news clippings, and documents. I could smell fresh paint, and new carpet. Apparently they had de-Loised the room for me. I couldn't count the many times Lois had accidentally spilled a cup of coffee on the floor after she'd had an epiphany, or finally made a connection between two obscure bits of evidence.

I logged onto my computer and checked my e-mail. Nothing in the inbox. Then I reached into my messenger bag and pulled out a few files. I had made a quick run to the farm to get some clothes, and my laptop the night before. While I was there I came across some stories I had been working on. I walked over to the filing cabinet and opened the top drawer to put them away, when I was met with a lovely surprise. A small, bright red boom box was sitting inside, apparently forgotten by its owner. I opened the CD player and saw a disk that read: _Lois's Whitesnake Ass Kicking Mix. _A wide smile grew on my face. I was intrigued, my Lois had made a mix with the same title, and I wondered if it had all of the same songs on it. I picked it up, plugged it into an outlet in the corner, and pressed play. 'Here I go Again' began to blare out of the speakers, the volume was turned all the way up, I scrambled to turn down the dial.

_"Clark, put on my mix," _Lois would say, while standing atop her desk, surveying an assortment of paperwork she'd spread out on the floor, _"I need to kick some ass. There's something I'm not seeing here, and I need a little inspiration."_

I let it play, at a normal decibel, in the background as I sat back down at my desk. For the first time all day, I felt good, happy. Listening to her mix, made me feel close to Lois. I knew that she had carefully crafted the playlist, and I felt like, subconsciously, she'd left it here on purpose just for me. To make me feel less alone.

I opened the LexCorp file and began to read it thoroughly, making notes as I went, and jotting down a list of possible people for Clark, the mild-mannered reporter, to interview. It seemed that they were still in the developing stages and had yet to begin human testing. The bionics appeared to be fairly elementary, and weren't able to compete with my strength or stamina at this point. But the part that most concerned me was the testing the samples of my blood had undergone. I had learned through my experience with the Kandorians, that my blood, if put in the wrong hands, could create dire consequences. If Lex really gained the ability to do what this research was proposing, the world would be in grave danger. I needed to put a stop to this project, and a story in the Planet, no matter how accurate, wouldn't be enough to shut it down.

I needed to retrieve my blood from the lab, the trouble was I didn't know where it was. I was going to need some help from Watchtower and the League. It was also prudent that I find out who had given Perry this file.

I spent the next few hours getting settled in to my office, and writing a story outline. I hadn't gotten my police scanner from the farm yet, so I had to multitask, keeping an ear out for any trouble happening on the streets of Metropolis. It was a quiet morning, it was nearly two o'clock before I heard a car jacking in progress on 17th street. I raced up to the roof and took to the sky. I was there in a flash, and was disappointed to see a couple of teenage boys attempting, and miserably failing, to steal a Bentley.

"Come on dude! I thought you said you could hot-wire this, no problem!" said the larger boy who was sitting in the passenger seat.

"It's not as easy as it looks man, just shut up ok?" snapped the boy who was hunched over fiddling with the wires underneath the steering wheel.

I landed in front of the car and patiently waited for them to notice me. The thinner of the two looked up, and spotted me. I watched the color drain from his face.

"Afternoon boys," I said sternly, with my hands on my hips.

"Oh shit man, it's Superman!"

The boy in the passenger seat flew out of the car and began to race down the street. The other was so terrified, he only managed to lock the doors of the car. I super-sped down the street, and stood with arms crossed in front of the large boy for a moment, before grabbing him by his shirt and returning to the car. Without letting go of the boy, I gently tugged on the car door and pulled it off the hinges. I reached in and snatched the other kid out of the driver's seat.

A Met PD patrol car pulled up and I passed the boys off to the officer, who promptly put them into hand cuffs, and then into the back of his car. I turned my attention back to the car door and used my heat vision to repair it. The officer thanked me, and I told him it was no trouble before I took off and flew back to the Planet.

After I changed, I went back to my office and texted Chloe. I told her that I'd meet her in Star City later on to discuss what I'd found out about LexCorp's new project. I decided to call it a day at around three-thirty. I turned off the Whitesnake, and as I locked the door I saw that my name had replaced Lois's on it. I sighed heavily, before taking the long, lonely walk down the stairs to the lobby. Everywhere I looked something reminded me of Lois, and I knew that it was unlikely that the reminders would go away. I'd just have to learn to cope with them better. I hoped Lois's day had been better than mine...


	4. All Things Considered

**A/N**

**Chapter 4 has arrived! I apologize for the wait, but I did warn you updates would be stretched out. This is my favorite chapter so far, I've introduced a few DCU characters, in all her Amazonian glory, Wonder Woman, and the lovely Barbara Gordon. **

**I wanted to touch on the Superman/Wonder Woman ship, because I find it very interesting. But I hold true to the idea that the only way a relationship could ever exist between them, would be if Lois didn't exist. I hope you enjoy my take on it, although it is quite angsty…**

**Also, I hate burst the bubbles of any Bruce/Lois shippers out there, but that's not going to happen. Sorry, but I don't think Bruce has the patience being with Lois requires, and I think Lois would get quite annoyed at Bruce's broodiness. **

**Read, Review, and Enjoy!**

After I returned to Watchtower, there were a couple of break-ins, a mugging, and a lost little girl that needed Superman's assistance, so I gladly obliged. Helping the little girl had been especially fulfilling, she had gotten distracted by a salt-water taffy vendor at a crowded farmer's market and lost her mother in the crowd. Her heart breaking sobs of terror caught my attention as I was flying over. I spotted her in the middle of the crowded street and wondered to myself how it was possible that all the people around her hadn't heard her cries for help.

I landed right in front of the little girl, and as soon as she saw me I could see the relief in her tiny watery eyes. She had curly red hair, and bright blue eyes. She didn't look a day older than five.

"Superman!" she exclaimed as she flung her arms around my knees.

"Why hello there," I said to her with a warm smile, "you look like you might have lost something."

She nodded.

"My Mom-mommy, I wanted some candy so I went to look, but-but t-then I t-t-turned around and I couldn't find her," she wailed, between deep breaths and wiping her tears on the sleeves of her shirt. I could tell she was trying to calm her self down, it wasn't working very well.

"Well, why don't you tell me your name sweetheart, and we'll find her together. Ok?"

"Ok," she sniffed, as she slipped her small hand into mine, "My name is Sammy."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Sammy," I said to her, while focusing my ears, listening for the sounds of a distressed mother. About a block down in front of a fruit vendor, I heard a woman shouting Sammy's name in desperation.

"Alright, I think I hear your mommy. Should we fly over to her?"

The little girl's eyes lit up, her tears faded away, and she nodded excitedly. I picked her up, and rested her on my hip.

"I need you to help me fly, Sammy, can you put your arm out like this?" I stretched my arm out in front of me and closed my hand into a fist. I waited for her to follow, and as soon as her little hand was closed tightly, I took off. I heard her let out a squeal of delight as the air rushed around us. It was a wonderful sound, and I couldn't help but grin. For the first time all day, I didn't feel lonely.

I landed behind a woman who had hair identical to Sammy's, and I tapped her on the shoulder.

"I think I have what you're looking for ma'am," I said. She whipped around, and only had eyes for her daughter. She reached out for her and Sammy practically leapt out of my arms.

"Mommy!"

"Sammy! Don't you ever do that to me again!" Sammy's mother cried out in relief. She began kissing her daughter's face all over and inspecting her for injuries.

"It's ok Mommy, Superman saved me! I helped him fly!"

After she was sure that her daughter was alright, Sammy's mother turned to me.

"Oh, thank you Superman! I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost her!"

"Just doing my job, ma'am, I'm glad I could help," I replied, I put my arm out and was about to kick off into the air when I felt a light tug on my cape. Sammy was looking up at me, so I knelt down to her level.

"You're my favorite you know. You've always been my favorite hero Superman, my brother, he says Batman is better, but now I know for reals that you are! Thanks for saving me," she said earnestly, before she kissed me on the cheek. I was taken aback for a moment, and then I smiled at her.

"Your welcome, I'll be sure to tell Batman you think so, just be sure that next time you ask your mommy before you go and look at the taffy, ok?"

"I promise, I will!" she answered, nodding enthusiastically.

"Good girl. Well, you ladies have a nice day," I said to them, before taking off into the air. A few moments later I landed on a nearby rooftop and surveyed the market from above. I watched Sammy and her mother walk away, hand in hand, with a warm feeling in my chest. It was saves like theirs, which made me more than sure I was doing the right thing, that being Superman meant something. I may not have solved world hunger, or diffused a nuclear bomb today, but I knew that I'd made a difference in their lives. I'd brought them relief on a personal level, and that was worth more than all the stars in the whole universe.

"You were very good with her Kal," a familiar feminine voice said from behind me.

I turned and greeted Diana with a smile. She was standing across from me on the roof, hands on her hips. She really was a sight to behold, long flowing midnight hair, tiara glittering in the sunlight, and golden lasso pulsing with the power of the gods. She stood so tall and proud. When I first met her, she assumed that I preferred to be called by birth name, just as she preferred to be called Diana, not Wonder Woman. I don't think that she'd ever really considered calling me Clark. I'd never really told her that I felt more like Clark Kent, than I ever felt like Kal-El of Krypton. Diana was an Amazon through and through, I admired the pride she took in her ancestry. Sometimes I even envied the sisterhood and kinship she had with the other Amazons. It made me wish that I had been able to experience the culture of Krypton first hand, instead of via recordings Jor-El had left for me in the Fortress.

Oftentimes, after returning from visiting Themyscira, Lois would remind me, though it was a tragedy I'd lost Krypton, I was meant to live on Earth. She would say that my true home was first with my parents in Smallville, and then with her in Metropolis. I vaguely wondered where my home really was now, as it wasn't with my mother in Washington, nor with Lois in Gotham…

"She-uh- was a very sweet little girl," I replied, shaking myself from my thoughts, "hello Diana, what brings you to Metropolis?"

"I'm here for our date, which you were so insistent upon, as it is a customary part of Kansas courtship. Perhaps when we have children of our own one day, you'll get a little one like her," said Diana, quite simply, with a kind smile.

I shook my head, unsure that I'd heard her correctly.

"Date? Chil-children of _our own_?" I spluttered.

"Yes, is that not the entire purpose of our courtship? Procreation, to carry on the lineage of both Amazon and Kryptonian way? Well, that, and an eternal life bond of course," she answered, cocking her head to the side.

Abruptly, something Chloe had said about Diana yesterday, echoed cavernously in my head_:__ "Yeah, you two have had the whole super-sexual tension thing going on for ages." _My heart was thumping out of control, and it was suddenly unusually difficult to breathe.

"Oh boy…" I whispered with wide eyes.

"Are you alright Kal? You've gone very pale," said Diana, rushing to my side.

What was I going to say to her? My mind was racing, apparently the Clark from this reality had recently entered into some kind of romantic relationship with Diana. I couldn't handle that! Not now! Probably not ever! Diana was one of my best friends, she understood me in a ways not many did, but Lois was the only woman I would ever consider having children or entering a life bond with. Lois was the one and only for me.

However, in this world I didn't have Lois, so perhaps the other Clark saw Diana in a way I had never even considered. I knew from what Chloe had said that he loved Lois too, but I'd told him that she would die if he were to be with her. Maybe he was tired of living alone, pining after Lois. I'd only done it for a day and it already sucked. Maybe he was trying to move on. Regardless of what his feelings may have been, things were different now; he'd had time to consider a relationship with Diana, I'd just lost Lois and started living in this world within the last couple of days. I wasn't there yet. I couldn't go on a date with Diana; it would feel like I was cheating on Lois. It would feel wrong.

"Diana I'm very sorry, but I am going to have to cancel our date," I said slowly.

Her expression of warm concern hardened, and she stepped away from me stiffly.

"This is the third time you've cancelled, Kal," she said, clearly frustrated. I felt terrible, she looked quite disappointed.

"I know, and I'm really very sorry, but I-I don't think I can do this." She took a long moment to consider my words, before she spoke.

"Having been raised on Earth are you truly like the rest of the men on this planet, terrified of commitment?" she asked severely. Even through her warrior-like strength, I saw something I'd never seen in Diana's eyes before, it looked a lot like heartbreak.

"No, I'm not afraid of commitment, far from it actually. It's just-"

"It's the reporter isn't it?" Diana said softly, looking away from me, "Lois Lane? I know you went to see her the night before last."

"How?" I asked, completely stunned.

"I came to the farm to surprise you; I was trying to be spontaneous. It was ridiculous, but I did it. You weren't there when I arrived, so I waited for you on the porch. You didn't even notice me when you sped past, and went into the house, or when you took off into the sky," she explained, "I was a bit irritated, so I followed you, intending to give you quite a tongue lashing. I followed you all the way to Gotham, and I'll admit, I eavesdropped on your conversation with her more than was appropriate. It was then I realized how you truly felt for her. I'd always had my suspicions, stemmed from how you would go out of your way to ensure her safety. But when you told her that you couldn't risk feeling so strongly for someone, for fear it might endanger your judgment as a hero, I knew. I knew that it was your love for her that had kept you from committing to me fully. Because, in all the many conversations we'd had about our courtship you'd never been concerned about that when it came to me."

Silence hung between us, and I wished desperately for the words that would fix everything, that would explain it all to her. But there weren't any that would say everything that needed to be said. I could tell her what had happened, that I was from a different reality, but I didn't think it would make her feel any better. It would only solidify what she already knew; I loved Lois more than I could ever love her. It didn't need to be reiterated. I walked over to her and gently took her hand.

"Diana, I'm sorry, I never meant-"I began. She smiled sadly, and put a finger to my lips.

"Do not apologize, Kal. We cannot always control what the heart feels, I'm glad you were honest with me."

I nodded.

"She loves you too, you know," She whispered to me encouragingly.

This time I turned away from her, I didn't want her to see how badly I missed Lois, or how very much I wished I could just hold her in my arms. I was afraid Diana would tell me to give into my feelings, to tell Lois. But those were no longer options for me, the moment I'd put on the Legion Ring, I'd chosen my path, the decision was made, and there was no going back. No matter what I wanted.

But to my surprise, Diana didn't press me for an answer, and I was grateful for that. She simply reached out and tenderly caressed my cheek in sympathy.

"Goodnight Kal," she said softly as she took her hand from my cheek and turned to walk away.

"Goodnight Diana," I answered as I watched her fly off into the now fading sunset.

I stood there for a few moments, assessing everything that I'd just learned, before taking off toward Star City to see Chloe. When I arrived, I thought about telling Chloe what had happened between Diana and I, but decided against it. It was all too personal for me to share without Diana's permission.

So, I got right down to business and proceeded to pour over the details in the LexCorp file with Chloe for the next few hours. She entered all of the information into the Watchtower database, and began a scan to see if it picked up any leads as to where this new lab was located. The scan would take several hours to complete, so we decided to call it a night and send out an alert to the JLA members letting them know there would be a meeting the following evening, to bring them all up to speed. Though I had been very focused on working out the data in the file, my mind kept wandering, I couldn't stop thinking of Lois, or how I had hurt Diana. I felt incredibly guilty. Lois would have chalked it up to my 'hero-complex'; I hated situations that I couldn't make right.

So, as I flew home, even though I knew it was a bad idea, I found myself headed toward Gotham. I flew over the dark city and focused my hearing for the sound of Lois's beating heart. As I had expected, she was still inside the Gotham Gazette building, which was lucky for me, one of the few buildings in Gotham without a lead lining. Lois was in her office, furiously pounding out another story that would most certainly make it above the fold. I landed in an alleyway across the street from the Gazette.

From my little nook, I just watched her work. Periodically she'd get up and pace in her office, looking between two sheets of paper as she went. I watched her drink three cups of coffee, and throw her hands up in frustration before she began to pack up her things to go home. She was putting on her coat when I heard someone approaching me from behind. I quickly turned around, ready for anything. I was in Gotham after all. But luckily, it was someone that didn't need to be hand delivered to the GCPD. It was Batgirl.

"Hiya, Clark!" she said with a smile from behind her cowl.

"Hello Babs, good to see you," I returned, "You're really getting good at the bat stealth, if you hadn't jumped down onto that dumpster, I wouldn't have even heard you coming. I bet it won't be long before you can disappear while I'm mid-question."

"Well that's what we all strive for here in Gotham, to be able to pull off Bruce's overly annoying disappearing act," she answered with a mischievous smirk.

I chuckled.

"Not that I'm complaining, lord knows we could use the help, but it's pretty rare to have five Superman sightings in a week here in Gotham. Any particular reason for the frequent visits?" Barbara asked.

I was about to answer when I heard Lois's voice as she was exiting the revolving door of the Gazette building. She was swearing under her breath as she dug through her purse, attempting to find her phone. When she pulled it out, she dialed a number, and then began to cross the street. She was headed straight for me.

I couldn't let Lois see me, not again. It wasn't fair to her, and if I was being honest with myself, I wasn't sure that I would be able to leave Lois behind a second time. So, in a panic, I flew to the roof of the building next to me in a flash.

"Hey!" I heard Barbara whisper, in protest. She waited for Lois to pass, before I heard the click of her grappling gun.

I watched as Lois walked down the street a way, I felt Barbara walk up next to me.

"Alright, I get it, you're super! But, come on Clark, if a civilian is about to discover us in an alley, give a girl a heads up next time! And you still didn't answer my question, what're you doing in-"her voice trailed off.

Lois had just hailed a cab; my eyes were still glued to her. I wanted time to stop, but her head disappeared into the back of the car all too quickly, and the door slammed loudly shut behind her. The cab drove off down the street, and turned the corner, out of sight.

I could feel Barbara's eyes on me, I felt just like I had when my mom caught me elbow deep in Granddad Kent's cookie jar before dinner. I really liked Barbara, she was spunky, funny, and very, very intelligent. She was a bit younger than Lois and I, but she was very mature for her age. Gotham itself, and being the daughter of the police commissioner had wizened her years beyond what it said on her driver's license. Incredibly quick-witted, and astute, she never missed a trick. Not to mention, she always called it like it was. She was a bit like Lois in that way. While most of the time I really liked that about her, tonight however, I could have done without that particular trait.

"You've been coming here because she's here now, haven't you?" She said.

I sighed heavily and nodded.

"Lois Lane, right? She did your first five interviews with the Daily Planet, but then you stopped using her for some reason," said Barbara.

Barbara also had and eidetic memory, another handy trait when it came to solving a mystery, but a bit invasive when directed at your love life…

"Yes," I said simply, still looking off in the direction the cab had gone.

"I can see that you really care about her," she answered softly.

"I really do," I confessed quietly, "but I can't keep coming here. It's not helping."

We stood there for a moment, both lost in our thoughts, when it occurred to me just how well Barbara and Lois got along in my world. They had been good friends.

"Hey, Barbara?" I said, looking into her blue eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Would you-would you keep an eye on her, as a personal favor to me? Make sure she's alright, she tends to get herself into trouble. And also, just-I just don't want her to be lonely," I said.

"She won't be I promise," Barbara said instantly with a smile, "I'll make sure she's safe, and I'll keep you updated."

"Thanks, but I think I need to…start letting go," I replied.

"I understand," she nodded.

"Thanks…oh and-"

"Don't worry I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you, Barbara. Good luck out there tonight," I told her.

"Yeah, you too Clark."

As I flew away from Gotham, I made a vow that it was the last time that I'd go there to check on Lois. If I was going to make this new life work, I had to let go. I had to let go more than I had since I'd met Lois. I had to commit, because if I didn't I was certain my resolve to stay away from her wouldn't last. I needed to let her live her life, completely free of me, because that's what I'd sacrificed everything for. Unless our paths unknowingly crossed in the future, tonight was the last night I'd lay eyes on Lois Lane.


End file.
